Monday, March 26, 2012

Very Unskilled Labor

     My plan this weekend was to make a needed trip to Lowes on Saturday morning and then stay in the whole weekend to work on my kitchen walls.
     Saturday went great. I painted the chair rail, baseboards, trim, a door, and the bottom part of the walls. I had embarassed my brother so many times with my painting skills that he took it upon himself to teach me how to do it correctly a few years ago. Thank God for that. At least I did the painting part pretty good.
     But Sunday, oh how I regret Sunday. I had found several rolls of textured wallpaper nice and cheap at Goodwill  that I thought would look so good on the top part of the walls. I had never hung wallpaper but my mom did so I figured if she could do it so could I. I watched a youtube video about it and even made a visit to I was ready for action.
     I measured and trimmed and smoothed and worked till I was ready to collapse. It was HARD, really hard. While I was doing it I was thinking that hanging wallpaper would be a good punishment for people in Hell. Then of course my next thought was Oh Lord forgive me I'm sure people in Hell would love to be able to hang wallpaper. Yep, that's how strange my mind works sometimes.
     Fast forward to the end result: the most horrible workmanship you could ever imagine. I could have hired a couple of mentally handicapped (because retarded is an offensive term) monkeys and gotten better results. Bubbles, seams, tears - anyway you can mess up wallpaper is what I did. My friend Amanda Clyburn owns Bless This House. I have new respect for her. She will not want to hire me anytime soon. Or anytime at all.
     So, I went to bed to rest and think about what to do. I was hoping that a good nights sleep would help me think of a solution. The longer I tried to sleep, the more frantic I became. So at 12:30, I got back up and ripped every last bit of it down. I thought about taking a picture first to share with you on here but I was just too embarassed. Went back to bed utterly defeated but finally slept.
    I still have the top part of those walls to deal with. I wish I could take the day off to work on them but the world of  Ebay calls. Thank God my buyers were buying like crazy while I was making my mess. At least I will have some more money to spend at Lowes so I can try again.
     Hopefully my finished work will be good enough to tell you about and maybe even a picture. But if you don't hear from me about it again, well, you will know what happened. Now I am off to hang my head low while I drag all that wallpaper out to the curb for the trash pick up. Neighbors, if you see me out there in my driveway, please just pretend you don't know what's going on. I need time to regain my dignity.

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