Friday, January 14, 2011

The Torture That Is Called Pilates

    I've been walking two miles a day on the treadmill in 40 minutes and lately my legs have really been hurting. I thought maybe I was overdoing the treadmill and should try something different. And then I remembered I had a Windsor Pilates video I had never used. Soooo........
     I moved the coffee table, put the tape in the VCR and got in the floor because apparently all Pilates have to be done on the floor. The first thing the instructor explained to me was that I was to remember at all times to constantly try to make my belly button pulled in so hard it would touch my spine. Now considering how far apart those two are on me, that would be quite a stretch if not a downright miracle.
     Then I started to try all these things that you had to do 10 repetitions each of. My body had never done any of these things and was not happy with my efforts.
     Not to mention that Kyle's dog Pip decided to "help" me. He was very concerned about me being in the floor. So the whole time I was rolling my fat body around trying to do these impossible exercises, Pip was barking, licking my face, and snapping at my hands.
     On days that Kyle works in the Beckley area, he pops in about five times throughout the day to use the computer. I was so hoping that this was a Boone County day. If he had walked in, I would have never heard the end of it. Lucky me, Kyle did not show up before I finally hauled myself up off of that floor twenty minutes later.
     Although I failed to be able to do about 70% of the excercises, the instructor assured  me that if I keep it up daily I will see results "soon". I did not realize how "soon" that would be.
     Kyle and Dylan wanted to go see The Green Hornet tonight. Not interested in that at all but not wanting to be left totally out, I decided to tag along but instead go by myself to watch "The Dilemma".
Great movie. I realized tonight that Vince Vaughn has a really pretty mouth. Not many men have pretty mouths.
     Anyway, I sat there mesmerized by Vince's perfectly shaped lips for 110 minutes. When it ended, I wanted to get up quickly and get out of everybody's way because the theater was packed. When I stood up, my abdominal muscles and thighs nearly threw me in the floor. They were so sore and jelly-like I nearly panicked. Then I remembered my exciting morning of Pilates. Wow, I didn't know you could get sore that quick.
      Will I try again? Absolutely, I plan to. But not until Monday because now it's the weekend and Kyle will be here. And you'd better believe that Pip will be the only one to ever witness my humiliation.

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